As Others See Us

The longer my stay on your planet, the more curious I find your species to be. To facilitate my study of your fascinating species, I had embedded myself at one of your places of learning; I believe it’s called a university. Here I was able to observe your young at close quarters as they chose the professions they would follow for the rest of their lives.

What a peculiar array of professions your species possesses! Whilst I could understand the value of becoming a member of the police force, righting wrongs and enforcing the law and suchlike, I failed to see the value in disseminating the news of martial conflict that seemed to prevail across your planet. Unless, that is, it is purely in the attempt to discourage the practice of war. If so, it doesn’t appear to be working.

The frivolity of training to become a host for the purpose of entertaining the masses is beyond me. Why don’t you just have fun by yourselves? Why does it need to be organised? Similarly, training to pursue a religious lifestyle seems at odds with the day-to-day life of most members of your species.

The most honest profession I’ve come across so far, is a life of crime. It offers a bewildering selection of opportunities for the venal. I’ve observed how your young start off with petty crime and then work their way up the ladder in the hope of graduating as a mastermind.

These are just a few of the professions I’ve studied during my stay on your planet, there are of course innumerable others I’ve yet to turn my attention to. I’ve yet to make my mind up about your species but, given the choice between comedy and tragedy, I would tend towards declaring it a tragedy.

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Written in response to the Microcosms 300 word competition number 145 with reference to the prompt: Extraterrestrial; University; Comedy

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